The Most Important Thing

In the past two weeks I have traveled from Florida to the Rocky Mountains and back to California.  I have spoken to nearly every age group, gender, and color of American, literally from 18-80.  What I heard was anger.  Anger at, well, almost everything that is so obviously broken.   But the most pervasive feeling expressed was that we are angry because we are scared.  And the most heartfelt question people asked is what can I do to create a personal oasis in a world that seems to be becoming a desert?  What can I do to create personal, financial, emotional, mental and spiritual sustainability even if the outer world is convulsing with financial bankruptcy, emotional drama, mental instability, and spiritual confusion?  This is the real question for all of us all the time.  As one 80-year put it, “Every generation has its great challenge; welcome to yours.”  From a perspective of someone who’s lived through pre-antibiotic healthcare, a great depression, a world war, civil rights, riots, and the birth of Rock ‘n Roll, that statement is code for. “Quit whining and take care of yourself.”

That very night I found myself reading a great new book, The Art of Learning, by Josh Weitzkin who quotes a powerful proverb that fits today’s challenges. Life is a long road of thorns in which we are confronted with three options:  1) we can walk the road barefoot and bloody, 2) we can sit down, weep and wait for someone to pave it, or 3) we can make our own sandals.

There have always been awful challenges.  Plagues, earthquakes, wars, famines, and droughts.  Job loss, divorce, death, and depression.  Life’s question is “Are we willing to make sandals?”  There are many ways to make them.  One truism I have discovered in coaching others for three decades is that often a 5% change in our life will result in a 100% change in how we feel.  Even though sandals only cover the “souls” of our feet, our entire body and mind rejoice at being relieved of the pain from the thorns of our life.  Here is some “leather”—tough and strong ideas that may be of value.

1. Be physically strong.  Our body is our greatest ally in making us resilient.  We need to regularly get eight hours of sleep.  We need to eat healthy, non-manufactured food.  We should try to never go hungry and never be full.  We need to train like athletes, get our heart rates up, lift some weights and walk with our back straight.  If we are fit, our thoughts will be creative and our actions more collaborative.  That’s the brain science according to Dr. Jim Loehr (The Power of Full Engagement).
2. We need to be emotionally centered.  We need to elevate our moods by doing positive things we deeply enjoy.  Activities of sport, art or learning that capture our full attention and help us grow.  We need to do such things at least every other day.
3. We need to be fully present in relationships with people we trust.  Refuse to take love for granted.  Listen with your eyes and soul.  Turn off everything else.  The T. V., blackberry, and the noise of your inner chatter and really be with those whom you love.
4.  Seek spiritual growth.  Research tells us the happiest people in the world meditate 20 minutes a day.  Join them.  Help strangers and read what inspires you.  Be open-minded.  Inclusive.  Love with your whole soul.
5. Regain your perspective.  Take a news fast.  No radio, newspapers, T. V., Internet, or magazine news for a week.  Pretend you’re on an island in Fiji.  Listen to music that soothes you.
6. Be an expert.  If we are going to give our gift, we simply must be great at something we value.  Educators say it takes ten years to become a true expert.  And real experts are constantly learning because they love what they are doing.  It’s not work.  And when you fuse your personality with your expert knowledge or skill, you’ll be one of a kind.  Your expertise will be work that you love doing.
7. Travel light.  Get out of debt.  Remember, there is nothing you can buy that is worth more than peace of mind.  Nothing.
8. Commute and drive less.  Bargain for one or two days of telecommuting.  Combine trips.  Nearly all of us can drive 25% less, which will increase our quality of life.
9. Be strong and be flexible.  There are very happy people living under almost all circumstances.  Change what you can and see the advantage in what you cannot.
10. Don’t take the external parts of life too seriously.  The purpose of this amusement park called life is to love deeply, learn without stopping and develop inner character that brings honor to your children.

If you’ve made some changes that have improved your quality of life, tell us about them.  We need to share our “best practices” of life.

Will Marre
Founder, American Dream Project

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